To say I have had an absolutely maddening two weeks would be an understatement. From quite a few “what the” moments of ridiculously disrespectful words shaking me to my core, to deaths, and some even thinking that I must postpone any of my feelings while spotlighting theirs.
While I do not mind being in fellowship with others in their broken moments, there are those times when fixing myself has to take top priority–a lesson I am still working on.
But despite all of this, I found solace in the deep relationships. Relationships that for decades and even almost the whole span of my life, just say, I am here in your brokenness.
The ones that provide a soft place to fall–where laughter is easy and words do not need to be measured.
But this post isn’t about all of the moments that shattered me. It is about a random moment that has become quite regular.
While I have no motive behind my feelings pertaining to the person in the starring role, I do want to let my feelings wander about the page in gratitude for him.
What is Sunshine?
Is it being able to depend upon your smile indefinitely through all seasons? Or to just warm my soul with the intangible threads of light that circle around me whenever I am in your presence?
Is it missing what I enjoy when the faithful night finds me reflecting?
It is all of it and none.
It is the way you see me even when my day has been unkind and remind me of why I am here–still here and give me reason to shine as well.
Because of you I know how a beautiful sunset feels–and have been reminded of how to enjoy the slow lingering of light in my memory for days–when you are no longer in view.
And for this, in the midst of my storm, I find time to smile once more.
Your sunshine, is a day standing in sand I long to stand in again.
It gives me pause to hear the ocean when there isn’t one in view.
And is the reason I finally awoke from my busy thoughts, and remembered that I am more that just my titles and occupations.
I have remembered myself.
You are that sunshine–that most beautiful sun that peers from the clouds after a hard, hard rain.
And to thank you for that–sweet, wonderful you–oh how I would, if I only knew your name.
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