The one thing we have learned over the years, and after much trial and error is to find and never lose our voices. And in this post, I encourage you to do the same.
It’s often not convenient or pretty or feel good stuff when you stand up for yourself. That’s a given. But if you think you are saving a situation or saving someone’s feelings by not speaking out, it only gets worse. You are teaching disrespect. You are teaching them that you aren’t to be valued, that your words mean nothing and that your kindness is weakness.
The moment you put iron in your spine and say enough, is the only time things change.
This is something I really had to embrace over the years…and since I have, my peace is so valuable. That peace is more valuable than anything these days.
Saving needed confrontation only reinforces the belief in a manipulator that by coercion, tantrum, or flattery–no matter what–your principles have very low value. And they will continue to push until you break or give up, because that is how they learned to play people like a board game only they can win.
If someone steps on your toe and you don’t say “Ow”, they’ll just keep doing it over and over again with bigger boots on each time.
Trip them up by tying their laces with your truth in what is fair and what will be allowed and what you will not stand for today, tomorrow or ever again.
And sometimes that means putting an exclamation point where you normally put a period.
The people meant to love you, will love you for who you are and not what they can get for themselves from you. And if you worry about pleasing the latter, peace will be a hard thing to find.