This winter has given me great pause. Just as the world at times has seemed like it has shifted into an alternate Universe where folks are determined to break down human dignity, so too has my life felt at times like it has moved into the surreal. I’ve had to adjust to a personal situation that revealed a whole other side of life to me, and have encountered people whose entire operating system is run on a virus-laden program that is set up to tear others down. To introduce malware into people’s previously smooth-running hard drives.
But it’s a funny thing about hard drives: It seems like the more malware we as humans have encountered in our lives, the more powerful our Motherboard becomes. I myself have been surprised at the vast reserves of inner strength that have come to the surface as I face each new challenge.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still a mess in a dress at times while I”m learning the delicate dance between fierceness and forgiveness that needs perfected when tangoing with those who are determined to steal my dancing shoes. Yet, I discovered an amazing resource at my darkest moments:
My other darkest moments.
You see, the beauty of hard times is that they make future hard times much more tolerable. Sometimes when I stop to think about all that I’m up against right now, I’m absolutely amazed that I’m not guzzling a bottle of Aldi’s Wine of the Week each night. Instead, I find myself staying very present, practicing self-care, ensuring that I’m in constant communication with my Higher Power, and looking to nature for joy.
I remember when I was going through my divorce and worrying about all the changes that would be taking place, a friend said some wise words that have always stuck with me:
“The Sun is the same wherever you go.”
There are other such indomitable Truths that never go away, no matter how many people try to get in our ears and tell us different: Forgiveness transforms every situation into Light. Cooperation always wins over competition. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe. The “mother look” can cut through bull-malarkey that’s as thick as the day is long.
As I find myself this season watching the Sun rise and set, I think back to a time when my whole world did a 180 degree turn, my heart was broken into a billion pieces each day for about 2 years, and I went on to live anyway, and lay the Foundation for my Dream. And then I think, ‘forget you malware-spewing people. I got this’.
My point is, we tend to get really stuck in labeling hard times as ‘bad’ and trying our darndest to get out of them as quickly as possible. But if I hadn’t gone through past heartache, dissolution with how the world operates, breaks in friendships, losses, and financial strains, I’d be entirely unable to handle my life right now.
As it stands, I am handling it. To which I give great thanks to the numerous lessons that created strong circuitry in my hard drive. This has allowed me to hold onto my dancing shoes and shuffle through this latest crazy dance number with two of the toughest left feet you’ll find anywhere on the planet.
And the next song that comes on my radio, on the entire world’s radio, will be “The Rising.” Just watch and see.