Random Sagittarian Bluntness: One Monday, Over Easy.

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This is something I wrote around 1999, about having a bad day and decided to add some food misadventures to it. This was also created way before I became a vegetarian. I hope you enjoy it, as much as I enjoyed creating it. Bon Appetit. 


Abysmal egg, meet grouchy toast as soggy bacon drowns on a china coast. As if breakfast couldn’t get any better, my milk just wrote a “Dear Cornflakes” letter. Acid reflux is giving Orange Juice the fits, and English Muffin’s anarchy just blew the toaster to bits. There’s no sunny side up in sight for this day, since the dog just carried Crispy Hash Brown away.

There’s a desert of brown sugar where Cocoa Puffs should be, and the Rice Krispies are laughing at me. I’ll have a good breakfast and I’ll be damned if they spoil it, so I’ll flush that cereal audience right down the toilet. Grapefruit just spit venom in both of my eyes, Mr. Coffee just overflowed with a tantrum, so I’m starting to cry. My tea just declared war on my nice, clean white shirt, and who cares about that when your mug has just hit the dirt.

Hash Brown is back from her backyard misadventures, and the last clean glass in the house is now bob for grandma’s dentures. Salt Shaker got loose last night and now it’s snowing on my plate, and I am dying to say to anyone in my vicinity that I’ve already ate.

This breakfast could be worse for wear, of that I positively agree. I could have a kitchen filled with nothing to eat, and not this variety. But before I wax philosophically with you about the haves and the have nots, I must say the unspoiled beauty of this bowl of ice cream, has really hit the spot.

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