Today Enjoy a Sneak-Peak Excerpt from Trina Noelle’s Upcoming Book, The Lady Player’s Manual: How to Win at Love and Life
I have come to feel that too much attention has been given to how hot things are supposed to be outside of a committed relationship. In all of my years in the relationship arena, I have learned a few things about monogamy. While there is something to be said about the flutter that takes over when attraction is evident, and the amazing feeling of being wrapped up in unrequited sexual tension, there is more to be said about the heights that can be reached when two adults have perfect love and trust in each other. Because it is only when those two exist that the merging of two can truly become one in a breathtaking dance of the soul.
So many people are missing out on the vision quest that lovemaking truly is, because they are looking to the media and others who do not know for the answers. I had a few times to become party to one-night stands, but something within me knew that I would just be settling for some brief moment that wouldn’t even scratch the surface of desire. When you have truly connected with anyone on such a deep level, anything else just seems not worth it.
If you use the media as a guide, the best encounters are scripted, one-sided, lacking imagination, repetitive and unbelievably fake. I don’t know any real woman that is fooled by this display and if we get with our girlfriends and discuss what it is that we enjoy and look forward to, it isn’t what we are made to believe is real connection. Real connection is freestyle, respectful and you might as well forget about your makeup and hair if you are doing it right. The deepest emotional connections create the most transcendent physical ones and while one-night stands and affairs seem to be the ticket these days, they don’t even cover the bus fare to Ecstasy.
Why am I addressing this? Because I believe that men and women are missing out by buying into the fallacy that the least amount of vulnerability is best. That barely knowing someone is the prerequisite to a night to remember. To reach the places where you fall silent because the ocean washing over you is so great requires both to submit to each other—to be willing to open up and be vulnerable. It requires an understanding that you are both safe with each other, respect each other’s need for complete trust and are willing to focus on the other and not just your own gratification. After that, rules are just things that get in the way of the trip.
There truly is nothing like the meeting of souls on all levels. There is nothing like knowing deep into your core that you are seen by your beloved and wrapped up so completely for safe keeping. But if you are not, wait for the person who possesses the strength to make love to your entire being. Don’t give your right to experience the fireworks of connection to someone without the steady hand to even light the wick. Lady Players are in control of their sensuality and realize that it is a gift and not some cliché people use to keep you from having more fun than they are brave enough to have. It IS a gift and is a gift that you give to someone who has the patience to unwrap it and appreciate all of the time you took to make it beautiful for them.
Lady Players are not afraid to say no or to say yes, as they understand and enjoy their sensuality and sexuality. Don’t give them a rambling oratory about double standards because they will have none of it. These are women who create the kinds of memorable moments that show up in tawdry novels. They do—they don’t just think about it or wish they had the guts to do it. They possess an undercurrent of smoldering secret embers that come off of them like heat, even during the most mundane, everyday situations. Lady Players are not trashy. They are the ladies in the street and the freaks in bed that the saying talks about—this is the essence of the Lady Player. They love being in love. But they also have enough going on in their own lives to not be some revolving door for someone looking to play them like a fiddle on fire. They understand that their sensuality is kindled in the mind first and will not settle for someone who is too impatient to even strike that match.
Lady Players know what they want and how they want it, and never do they EVER fight to be someone’s sidepiece. If they can’t be the Queen to their King, they’ll just pack up their game and move on. It is all or nothing for the Lady Player, because she knows what’s at stake. Her ever-after includes mind altering electric soul connections with the one in her life and having that be diluted by someone wanting to add to their own personal cast of characters just leaves her cold. If she can’t have quality, she’d rather spend her time in worthwhile pursuit of her dreams, in and out of the bedroom.
You Can Visit Writings by Trina Noelle for the Latest Updates on The Lady’s Player Manual.