This is an excerpt from Kirstie Ganobsik’s upcoming book STUMBLING TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT: A Roadmap for Those of Us in the Remedial Class to Bliss
Observe and notate the effects that both positive and negative thoughts have on your life
This helps us understand the bigger picture of our life. The reasons why we are where we are in life become clearer only when we stop to consider how we think.
We do this by keeping track of the ways in which our thoughts alter the course of our days. This enables us to realize our own power – whether for good or for bad – to shape our own destiny.
Examining the effects my thoughts had on my health played a big role in my developing a belief that my ideas about my life are the driving force that impacts its quality.
It all started one day six months after I was due for my annual eye exam. As usual, I tried to buck the system and order contacts online without a new prescription. I was denied when the customer service representative wouldn’t buy my line of baloney about why she should send me the contacts anyway.
Forced to make an appointment for an exam, I rolled into my cynical and lovable eye doctor’s office only to be told that:
1) I was still nearly blind as a bat without corrective lenses
2) I had a glaucoma test that showed better numbers than the year before.
Doc seemed pleasantly surprised by this latter diagnosis, as if he didn’t see results like that too often. He rhetorically asked if I was taking better care of myself, which I answered anyway in the affirmative. Sometimes all you’ve got left is superstar glaucoma status.
Truth be told though, my stress levels had been reduced enormously since I’d last seen him due to the choices I’d made about what thoughts I’d think, how I’d spend my time, and who I’d spend it with. Improved health, as it turned out, was a bonus side effect of trying to think more positive thoughts.
I had heard that many who reach enlightenment actually appear younger than when they’d started the journey. My stellar eyeball readings were my first solid proof in my own life that this was true. Naturally, I’d have preferred reduced cellulite mass over having less of a disease that I’d never had in the first place, but I’d take what I could get.
Shortly after this eye test, I experienced a bout of depression. In fact, I spent much of the first half of that year in a miserable swell of resentment and anger at the negative people life kept throwing my way. As if on queue, my eyes became red and bloodshot, irritated and itchy. I’d gone from glaucoma superstar to an over-imbibing lush-look-alike, despite not drinking more than a glass of champagne on occasion.
What had happened to my excellent, oft-celebrated eyeballs?
My answer came soon enough. I was watching an episode of Super Soul Sunday in which the daughter of famed psychiatrist Dr. Brian Weiss, social worker Amy Weiss, discussed the healing of her cataracts. She mentioned that she’d been carrying around sadness and, once she acknowledged and healed that, her vision also cleared.
I remember her saying in the program that “sadness clouds the eyes”. It struck me so strongly because that’s exactly what I was experiencing. Past hurts were being relived over and over in my head, and now I suspected in my eyeballs as well.
I didn’t want to lack vision, either literally or metaphorically. Her statement shook me up, and made me want to make every effort to finally let go of the negative storyline I’d been weaving around in my head.
With my desire to take the intense sorrow I’d experienced over the last six months down a few dozen notches in order to obtain better mental and physical health, I turned once more to the book A Course in Miracles. As had happened about a hundred times before, I opened it to the exact right page for what I was going through. The passage that jumped out at me was this:
“Your health is a result of your desire to see your brother with no blood on his hands….” (Page 570, #7).
Despite this having happened over and over again, each time I was astounded at how well I was being guided by my Higher Power to just the information I needed to hear at the moment.
The final letting go happened when I implemented both the Course’s advice to try to view the good in people, and also an amazingly powerful meditation exercise I’d received after signing up for Deepak Chopra’s Awaken to Happiness emails:
- I am independent of anyone’s opinion of me, whether it be good or bad.
- I am beneath no one, and no one is beneath me.
- I am fearless in the face of challenges
These words, combined with my attempts to be more forgiving, helped spark the light in me to shine outwards once more. And the fringe benefit of all this was that as my thoughts progressed back towards the positive, I found myself using my bottle of Clear Eyes Maximum Redness Relief less and less. My eyeballs, following the lead of my mind, stopped rebelling against seeing a sad world and began enjoying seeing one filled with joy instead.
In this way my awareness of my ability to use my thoughts to manifest the life I wanted grew. When we choose to be conscious of the ways our inner thoughts affect our outer world, we gain confidence in our own internal power to create a life more aligned with our goals.